• Should we use a wedding consultant?

A wedding consultant can do as little or as much as you want when assisting with your wedding. Planning a wedding, along with your other responsibilities, can add stress in your relationship. The consultant assists with the vendors, florist, sites for the wedding and reception and has the time to follow through with reviewing contracts. Their job is to help you have a carefree day and to enjoy your wedding and reception.

• When should we choose our wedding colors?

This should be done as soon as possible as it will effect the bridesmaids, groomsmen, cake decorations, invitations, etc. Be sure your colors coordinate with each other.

• Who pays for what?

There are several “traditional” items that are paid by the bride’s family and the groom’s family. The expense of the wedding and reception should be discussed by the couple with both sets of parents to determine a budget and the responsibilities of each. This discussion will help to prevent problems as the wedding day progresses.

• Is the Bride & Groom responsible for hotel and airfare for out of town guests? Out of town wedding party members?

Travel lodging and expenses are the responsibility of the attendee (guest or wedding party member).

You should provide all out of town guests with a packet of information which should include hotel name and phone number, nearby restaurants, sites they may want to visit during their stay. Also, if you have a large number of out of town guests you may want to negotiate with a nearby hotel for a reduced room rate for your guests. If you make these arrangements be sure the hotel knows the individual guests are paying for their own rooms and don’t forget to include the information in the out of town guest packet.

• Should we have an engagement party?

An engagement party is an opportunity to bring together family and friends to share in your announcement. If the parents of the bride and groom haven’t met, this is the perfect opportunity and way to bring them together.

• How do we choose a wedding style?

Remember, it’s your wedding. Pick a style that suits the two of you. Your wedding can be very formal, semiformal, informal, casual or you can have a theme wedding. The style and type of wedding you choose should reflect your enthusiasm, interest and your budget.

• Is it important for the Groom’s Father to match the Bride’s Father?

Basically the answer is yes, even when the Father of the Groom is not part of the wedding party otherwise he may feel uncomfortable throughout the day and in your pictures he may look out of place in a suit if the Bride's father is in a tuxedo.

• Everyone tells us we should keep a check list and notebook with everything listed. Is this important?

Yes. A wedding is a production and involves many people and much planning. Organization is the key to a successful wedding. Without the check list, it is hard to keep up with changes and the progression of your production. If you have a wedding consultant, be sure their notebook and check list is readily available for you to review.

• Who gives the Clergyman his fee at the ceremony?

The groom gives the appropriate fee amount to the Best Man in an envelope and the Best Man gives it to the Clergyman when he checks to be sure the Clergyman has the marriage license.

• Are the two taper candles lit before the ceremony or during?

You can have the tapers pre-lit or as part of the ceremony. If you chose to light them at the beginning of the ceremony you should have a votive candle lit and nearby for lighting the tapers (do not use a lighter or match during the ceremony).

You can also have the Mother of the Bride and Mother of the Groom each light one of the tapers after they are escorted down the isle and before they are seated. You would add this to the ceremony if the tapers are representing the Bride and Grooms lives before they married.

• Is it necessary to have a Bride & Groom figurine on top of the cake?

Absolutely not, many couples are choosing cakes with ribbon and/or flowers as an alternative to the bride & groom figurine tradition.

• Are the flowers used on cakes real or silk?

You can use either, however, if you use real flowers be sure you tell the florist the flowers will be used on the cake. Some flowers will “bleed” their color onto your cake and some flowers are actually poisonous and should not be near your cake.

• How many toasts are typically given at the reception?

You can have a little as 6 and more depending on if there are any guests who wish to give a toast. Following is the typical sequence:

1) Best Man
2) Maid/Matron of Honor
3) Father of the Bride
4) Father of the Groom
5) Bride & Groom to their Parents
6) Bride and Groom to the Guests as a “thank you” for sharing the occasion with you.

If there are any guests wanting to make additional toasts, their toast would take place after the Father of the Groom.

• How will it impact the dance part of the reception if my Father does not want to dance with me?

Usually, the Bride and Groom chose a long first dance song and you are only dancing with the different people for a short time. Following is the typical sequence of dances during the first song:

1) Bride and Groom together
2) Bride with her Father & Groom with his Mother
3) Bride with her new Father-in-Law & Groom with his new Mother-in-Law
4) Bride with Best Man & Groom with Maid/Matron of Honor
5) Bride and Groom together & Wedding Party (Best Man & Maid/Matron of Honor and the attendees together that walked down the isle together) plus the family members join in

It is your special day so it is important that you work out a sequence that will work for your reception. First you will need to know if there are any other individuals that do not want to participate in the dance. Once you have worked out how you want the dance portion to go be sure to let everyone know (including the DJ or Musicians) the sequence that will take place ahead of time to save any embarrassment.